“Momo could listen in such a way that worried and indecisive people knew their own minds from one moment to the next, or shy people felt suddenly confident and at ease, or downhearted people felt happy and hopeful. And if someone felt that his life had been an utter failure, and that he himself was only one among millions of wholly unimportant people who could be replaced as easily as broken windowpanes, he would go and pour out his heart to Momo. And, even as he spoke, he would come to realize by some mysterious means that he was absolutely wrong: that there was only one person like himself in the whole world, and that, consequently, he mattered to the world in his own particular way.”
Such was Brooke’s listening to me. I came to her with many questions weighing on my heart, and I left feeling uplifted. I would like to put down in words some of the insights important to me.
Question: How did you settle on this work?
The story of We Practice Life, a Community for Learners and Leaders focused on Growth and Transformation, can be found at wepracticelife.com/about-us. Nevertheless, to hear the stories again, in person, with all the candor, was food for my soul. Brooke worked in architectural design, and was very much involved in social causes. The 16-year journey was dotted with burn-out, centers that didn’t have enough sales or funding, and folders of practices that form the basis of Brooke’s work. It was not a short or easy journey, and I was so glad just to breathe in that fact.
As for me, in March this year, I left my job at a sustainable agriculture startup. We do consulting, value chain development, workshops and courses in organic agriculture and sustainability. Having spent 5+ years living and working on farms, doing plant genetics research, and working in outreach projects, for a long time agriculture has been the basis of my life.
Yet, I’ve found that people’s suffering pulls me with a force stronger than the productivity of crops. I’ve received many requests over the years to facilitate meetings, teach classes, talk to people or couples or groups. I also so dearly wanted to bring the force of love into my heart and my family. Hence I entered the field of facilitation with bits of training and experiences from many places: somatic process work, improv theatre, nonviolent communication, art of hosting and encounters with spiritual traditions.
I found myself immobilized by a double-bind. I really wanted to deepen in one path, and yet I have this fear, that if I commit to one thing I will lose sight of the bigger picture.
Opening: What might the people who come to you for help expect from you?
Are they saying “Hey, I want you to go deeper in that one path, get a certification and then come back and teach us?” - Brooke asked.
I so often feel that I’m not qualified to do the job asked of me. I have no credentials. I'm not mentally or financially strong enough to sustain the purity of healing practices. What if I do more harm than good? To speak these fears out and receive understanding is such a huge gift.
“Companionship” was the word that came to me. Perhaps that is what people expect. That is also what I believe I’m capable of giving. I cannot be an expert to decide for others what their reality should be.
In that moment of our conversation, I realized I unconsciously made two promises to myself. One is that, when I left my previous job, I wanted to do something deeper than training. I didn’t have an easy relationship with my ex-boss, who was an expert in L&D (learning & development). I knew we both valued the growth of a person, but I craved for real context, close contact and nourishment of the soul, and so I walked on. Accepting the invitations to provide training, which is familiar and cashable, felt like a step backwards. But just the listening of Brooke and the work she’s committed to somehow told me that by embracing a format and then enhancing it, I would still be on track.
The other promise is revealed by the second opening below.
Opening: So, you don’t want to be wrong?
I was struck by this question. I was afraid of being “wrong” not just because I quit a job to switch career, but also because I caused a lot of suffering for myself and my mother in the past by joining a coaching organization. Long story short, by committing to that organization, I spent a lot of money, cut contact with many people whom I trusted and cared deeply for, experienced a deadening lack of trust in my own ability to know what is good and true for myself. No wonder I’ve been living life with extra care ever since. I don’t want anyone to be hurt by my choices.
But what came out of that “wrong” decision was who I am now, and the inner qualities and relationships I cherish. I hope I can remember that I am enough for the challenges that rise to meet me. And that, in the spirit of Brooke’s father who was an inventor, I can expand my creativity to find a path that honors both my mother’s need for safety and mine for growth and inner transformation.
Opening: Of all the things you learnt, or was exposed to, what was the most impactful for you?
When I said “I’ve found that the thing that matters most is what happens after the workshop, not during it,” we had a good laugh. And suddenly I understood why We Practice Life was born. I know I do wish for a community that can go deep to make space for the soul, but also stay open and welcome diverse experiences. I do wish to embody the circle agreements, especially when it's not easy, where it's not easy. I do wish to sustain myself and the ones I love. I do wish for my trials and errors to be useful information for others. In Brooke’s stories I realized my own.
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