Biểu đạt mình thành thật - Lối về tự do 14

Biểu đạt mình thành thật: Làm chủ trải nghiệm của mình; sẵn sàng biểu đạt chân thực mà không đổ lỗi hay chỉ trích

Khi khó chịu thì theo thói quen mà phàn nàn, đổ lỗi hay chỉ trích; nói lên ý kiến và niềm tin của mình như thể chúng chắc chắn đúng.
Dần nhận ra rằng một số cách suy nghĩ và biểu đạt thường gây ra xa cách; bắt đầu khám phá các cách khác.
Thường có thể biểu đạt bản thân chân thực với ý định tạo ra hoặc duy trì kết nối, ngay cả khi căng thẳng.
Sẵn sàng chia sẻ về những phần mong manh, dễ bị tổn thương của mình; trân trọng những nhu cầu của người khác và cởi mở với kết quả.

HONEST SELF-EXPRESSION: Owning one's experience and having the willingness to express authentically without blame or criticism.

UNSKILLED: Habitually expresses with complaint, blame or criticism when upset; shares opinions and beliefs as certainties.
AWAKENING: Developing an increasing awareness of how some patterns of thinking and expressing tend to lead to disconnection; starting to explore alternatives.
CAPABLE: Usually capable of expressing authentically with an intention to connect, even when stressed.
INTEGRATED: Expresses with vulnerability, holding everyone's needs as precious; has openness to outcome.

What's the best thing that could happen today?

I wanted to get recommendation letter from you before you forget me. I'm afraid if I do it next year, you won't remember and won't want to have anything to do with me anymore. When I had the chance to say, now it's enough, I was afraid if I say the truth you will dislike me, that I used you and lied to you. Now no need to sign anymore, I assigned it to my recent job manager. But I'll always treasure our conversations. I will keep it for later, next year when I apply for UPeace.
My need is for safety, connection maintained, support to apply for this year and the next.
Shalom = peace, hello, goodbye, root word is "wholeness"
Why would someone kill another unless they're in a lot of pain, and one of the big source if not feeling cared for.

Think of a time when someone asked you for something and you said “Yes”, even though you wished you could say “No”.
Notice any thoughts, sensations, feelings.
Guess what need the person hoped you could help them meet.
What's my need that I prefer to say yes to?
How do you feel as you hear their request?
What needs would you like to contribute to? What needs prevent you from saying ‘yes’ to their request?

S asked me to stay back with her after she called over her boyfriend.
Thought: What the $%? This is supposed to be our bonding special time! I'm already sick of us not talking anything deep and I'm paying everything (677k by now). And now he's sitting here and we try to talk nice things? S is definitely very close to him, fine, but she expects me to be nice when it's clear that they're parting? She didn't ask whether I want to sit with him.

Sensations: chest sinking, tired, turning away, recoiling, folding into myself
Feelings: annoyed, slightly frustrated, "I'm pushed into something I didn't consent."

I think they want company, shared enjoyment, bonding among her favorite people.
My need: Rest (I'm tired), deep bonding with my s (not shallow fun past-time), consideration (ask me before), time for me to prepare myself, to switch my intention
I really want to have fun with you both and I know we're important to you. I want rest now.

nghe