What does patriarchal trauma mean to you? (popcorn, chat)
- shame, self-judgment, never good enough
What am I mourning in my life right now? (dyad)
- clarity
- concrete contribution to the peace and safety of my family, to the earth
Say a sentence. Silence. A sentence. Space.
One layer deeper - the choice I make. Which of my own choices am I mourning…? Series of choices?
One layer deeper - the choice I make. Which of my own choices am I mourning…? Series of choices?
- I'm mourning my decision to leave my job. I left a good learning environment, good friends and mentor, a low but constant salary. I mourn my choice to not be looking for a job right now, the safety and ease.
- And there are friends who mourn staying in a job they don't enjoy.
Also name the thing you would have liked to do instead.
- I would have liked to suggest projects to do with my colleagues now that I am more knowledgable. I would have liked my family to be safe, at peace.
The deeper levels as I heard are as follow:
- Mourn something that's happening in the world
- Mourn something in my life
- Things that are not good enough
- Choices I made
- The pain
- Vision we hold with this pain of the choice, the dream in our heart
From childhood, the message is "something is wrong with you", if not there's the threat of abandonment, exclusion = existential pain
Parts of us who made choices, the other part is blaming, shaming,
BOR of 4 people for 3 minutes
2 A's and 2 B's. Person A has experience of rejection, disliking yourself. No need to speak, your partner Person B will hold you with care and an open heart.
- You see the eyes of the other
- See yourself in the other
- Open your heart to the other
- Just like me, this person has a beating heart, has feelings. Just like me, this person has pain. Just like me, this person wants to be free from suffering. Just like me, this person wants to be happy in their life.
- Silently go back to this big room where A works with B, sending warthm, love, gratitude, perhaps with a gesture
You cannot speak it, only point towards that space and that energy in your heart.
Hoponopono NVC - from shame to love.
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