SEEDS Mediator Onboarding 17/01/22
Facilitative: Mediator in charge of process, parties in charge of outcomes.
- Not evaluative (mediator is expert)
- Not just solve conflict but learn to resolve things on their own
- Prebrief (45 minutes)
- Party prep
- Mediator prep: activators & biases
- During
- Opening
- Identify Issues & Interests: invite person with less power or submitted the case
- Facilitate Dialogue:
- intervene: We agreed not to use harsh language and use "I" statements.
- Generate solutions
- Agreement
- Close: thank you for vulnerable, emotionally exhausting work
- Observe Mediation - 3 months
- Debrief with mediators and the Mediation Case Supervisor, share observations, reflect on what techniques you might have used, and any activators or biases that came up
- Introductory Period
- Observe any case where I'm selected
- Once de-briefed with the Mediation Case Supervisor and you both feel you are ready you will be able to volunteer to co-mediate.
- This period extends through your first two-four mediations and during this time you and the Mediation Case Supervisor will assess if your mediation style is consistent with SEEDS model.
- Refresher Policy: annual, protocols, facilitative techniques
- Commitment:
- Observe at least 1 - 2 mediations within the first 6 months to be eligible to volunteer
- 1 year, at least 4 mediations or coaching
- Coaching: Community Public Trainings & Meet the Mediator panel
If a person suddenly show up (lawyer, partner)
- Check if ALL parties agree
- They observe only, don't participate at all, or participate fully
- They'll sign Confidentiality.
If 10 minutes to closing, close to resolution, Don't strive to do resolution
- Best to check in at one-hour-left mark
- Can stay if all agree a while
Physical or emotional harm
- Insults, can no longer control --> check with co-mediators & parties
SEEDS is funded by DRPA (Dispute Resolution Programs Act) where funds come from court fees. That's the largest funder of the mediation program and does require that services are provided by volunteers.
- Ramsay (h): undergraduate, spiritual tradition, RJ in 2018
- Balt (h): oldest of 5 kids, Master in Engineering, business module bored me to death, Robin former housemate
- Sevine (they/sev): Transformative Justice Collective (Time to Spring Up), interested in emotional care labor, model regenerative conflict
- Claire (s): lived in coops for a long time, housemates conflict, preschool teacher,
- Joey (h): human-centered
- Razz (they/elle): transformative, relational,
- Alec (h): East Bay, live in coop, studied negotiation & CR in school,
- Briana (s): Nashville, Memphis, deescalation training, interruption, reproductive justice work
- Jazmin (t): movement work
- Mateo (t): LGBTQ+ asylum seekers
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- Adele Grunberg: Part-time mediator for workplace (1999, case developer)
- Fran: Volunteer mediator with SEEDS for 6 years
- Tiffany Johnson: SEEDS volunteer for 3 years
- Suzanne Wang: SEEDS volunteer 2021
- Lacey: SEEDS volunteer 2016
- Jhenna: SEEDS volunteer 2021
- Anne: Case developer long time
- Addie Rose: med cert 2006, 3 yrs with SEEDS
- Sharon: 2000 when SEEDS combined all agencies
- Sonya: SF, training & volunteering since last year
Instruct on looping
Coordinate: what if your mediator goes in a different direction
variation in empathizing, not just emotive
Grating: I hear you/ Thank you for sharing - I appreciate you saying, I'm glad to hear you acknowledge that, It sounds like you two are listening to each other
We appreciate you being here today.
Am I correct? Correct me if I'm wrong. Am I getting what you shared?
I hear this... and also this ...
How did what you heard land with you?
Thank you for the courage to say ...
Could you tell us more about that ...
Thank you Tessa for letting Barbara know that you heard her?
When did things change?
What are your thoughts about Tessa's idea? Both of you had the community in mind ...
Case:
Wealth inequity
Styles?
Potential Triggers?
Looping was great
Long wait -
Long empathy - I was frustrated
Reflect
Powerful words: alone, ashamed, stress,
Let's be intentional, do you want to start talking to each other?
Using open mouth zoom reaction as a gentle call in (establishing that at the beginning)
Sending gentle language in the chat such as “Just a gentle reminder that ‘partie’s’ pronoun is ‘they/she/him’
Continue to intervene if the misgendering persists
moving forward.
7:48 PM return - if folks are ready at 7:45 and everyone is back that’s cool too. No pressure we will see who is here at 7:45.
Great time to splash cold water on your face, make tea, step outside, pet a dog/cat or other animal friend, I try to stay off social media during this time, off the news, off email, not texting maybe stare at a wall, read a poem, listen to music, etc.
what's one thing you did for yourself? I'll start - I did walking meditation
texting --> How did it feel? How did it feel in your body?
We do so much tracking parties, how are we doing as mediators? Parties pick up on your vibes, your co-med can help chill you out or lift you up
I just want to take a moment and acknowledge that an apology happen, do you want to say it directly to ...
Brainstorming not Agreement on screen
It's okay not to loop, where is the opportunity to shift,
It might take a few weeks until the next mediation, I can agree for the next 2 weeks, mini-agreements on how you get to the next mediation
not person with the most power to go first
NOT DO THE WORK FOR THEM, give them opportunity to talk to and track each other
PAY ATTENTION TO THEME & FLIP THE THEME: "The rules keep changing - need = the rules need to not keep changing, You want stability in your life, right? How to take a theme and connect it toward agreements (maybe if you get there) and how to deepen and have empathy"
POSITIVE FRAME - How can things be more stabilizing?
I want to us to just come back and talk indirectly, through the mediators, before we can go back to you two talking directly to each other
Let them loose, come one back come on back
That sounds really hard. Put my hands on my heart, take a pause,
It's really important that we listen to you each at a time, mindful of letting you speak, you can be mindful at letting others speak
If we got through, cocreate agreement, check-in with you after 1 month, if it's going well, need for additional
Guidelines: 1 person speak a time
It's encouraging for folk to want to resolve conflict
You all should feel good about urself for coming here
did this start after something?
how have you two tried to resolve the conflict
Human Nature - Beautiful Chorus (Last day song)
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