Vortex of Submission

7. Choice vs. submission or rebellion

Young women cannot say no

Mother cannot say to to daughter

No one likes to be slave, even if it means being your own slave.

I have to, translate my internal thoughts into choice language

Privilege offers us choice

Submit, Rebel, Compromise

We are dangerous when we're not conscious for our responsibility

claim our responsibilityy

2. Expressing "No"

When request is implicit

What is my need behind my "no

Requesting more

express "no" with Giraffe energy, clear awareness of boundaries

1. Deserve --> Submission
2. Unexpressed Expectation
3. Disappointed
4. Resentment
5. Deserve
6. Violence
7. Deserve
8. Guilt, shame, anxiety and depression

Recognition is simultaneous with liberation! (Tibetan Book of the Dead) Liberation just means choice. (Jim)

1. Submission = Denial of responsibility --> From 'have-to' to 'choose-to'
2. Unexpressed Expectation = Demand of Other --> Request
3. Disappointed = Denial of Responsibility --> Self-empathy (Mourning Disappointment)
4. Resentment = Diagnosis --> Dissolve Enemy Images
5. Violence = Deserve --> STOP!
1. Breathe, do exercise, write, go outdoors, etc.
6. Guilt, shame, anxiety and depression = Demand of Self --> Beneficial Regret
7. Deserve --> Saying "No"

Discernment: recognize I have a choice to meet certain needs. Judgement: moral evaluation.

Threshold: Perceptual Reorientation --> See the other person as enemy in the present and future

1. Think of a time when you hear a request from another person.
2. Notice how your body feels when you hear this request.
3. Empathize with yourself, what are your needs?
4. Extend your empathy to the other person. What do you imagine they need?
5. Proposal that contributes to all needs
6. Connection request: How does that idea sound to you?

1. Let's do video in the north.
2. Tighten. Angry. Why are you so selfish? Only think of yourself and making yourself look good. Why do you waste money on such stupid things. Do you think what you do is good or special? Over here I AM THE ONE who does the same thing and even more. I want to save it for a full documentary. I don't want a repeat of the same thing. I'm afraid of not having equal quality. Why don't you think what I've been doing is NOT enough? Don't you think this is not good enough for you? Why the **** do you want another wasteful thing?! I'm afraid of losing money! You can do it on your own money! Why don't we pool all money into one basket? T will be better taken care of. He's my child. Why all of this extra frill? Not efficient. You said you want to save money and then this, contradiction! You only care about yourself!
3. Consideration for ME! Prudence with the money!  Don't I have a say in this? Don't you care for me and T? Can you make sure we have a fair compensation?
4. Acknowledgement of their work. A sense of solidarity with the Southern team. A chance to tell their stories and honor those they've served. Diversity of voices.
5. Can we have a fair wage for T? Can we involve him in this because it's his creation too?
6. Connection request: How does that idea sound to you?