RTTC Extension Sessions

Thresholds & What we want to hold in VM - Jan 13

System is a set of agreements among a group, a collection of shared understanding of how things are done.

When system is implicit, then our default functioning is patriarchal (imperialistic white-supremacist capitalistic patriarchal system). Every adjectives modify the word "patriarchal". There is patriarchy without capitalism, but nothing other than patriarchal capitalistic.

Decision making when we are (1) in flow and (2) out of flow

THRESHOLD: 

1. Offering: Use as resource if you want it (oriented towards supporting people of the system, if they want it)
2. Recommendation - Consider: I believe this is good for you
3. Request - Do or notify: It will support the whole, there may be impacts if you don't do it. Please notify so we can attend to the impacts.
• Request: if you want empathy, ask for it
4. Agreement - Do or dialogue: This is have significant impact if you don't do it or implicitly ask me to change. If you have compelling reasons not to do it or ask for a change, please follow feedback pathway. Default way of doing things. We ask you to follow it, or say why you cannot. The system degrades if we don't follow.
5. Commitment - Accept as your own to join/stay. Part of the foundation of our functioning together.
6. Structure - Integrate into: Structure exists to make it easier to flow and is extremely difficult to change. If you don't see yourself inside it, then the course is not for you. 
7. Rule - : Where our capacity to even choose something that is outside patriarchy is so weak, that creating something that has the semblance of a rule is necessary for us to function well. We need to create a semblance of external accountability. (e.g. Drink water every time I walk into the kitchen. Others will remind me to do it.)

Keep the document alive: Discover a new function/ agreement. Be a bridge between a written document and what's happening on Fridays

By entering a role, I make myself into something different. A role defines who I am. I take on and put down a function.

• A medical doctor decides one day that she's done with being a doctor. One day on a train, a person had an emergency. She went to help that person and afterwards go back to be a doctor.

Ruskin (Netflix movie) a man was hushed for being gay thought he helped the civil rights movement.

If there is any place where you can doubt yourself about something, you'll find away. What do you actually do when you say "you'll work on it". "Try" is not to do. 

Often enough we give ourselves an "out" by saying we try.

Find something within capacity and do it.

What is something within capacity to dismantle this self-doubt, that is preventing you from contributing your tremendous value without losing so much energy to self-doubt.

• In a different voice book: When a girl knows a lot, then she's less likeable.
• Instilling self-doubt is part of female training. There is no personal deficiency. 
• Middle-class and upper middle-class training: you're supposed to know, to be independent.
• =Then it's okay, it doesn't fit with my framework.
• We're shaped and not determined by our training.

=Energetic drain on the collective, implicit expectation on others, when we say "Wouldn't it be great if ...?", without specific requests.

@This is me offering. Why does it sting a bit not to be seen? 

Is there anyone who has something to offer for people with self-doubt?

Humility and self-doubt are different? Self-doubt = contracted energy, "What's wrong with me?". Humility = relaxed evaluation of information.

I’m hosting an after-party breakout for maximum 5 people including me, to share our doubts regarding our ability to contribute to RTTC, and to brainstorm together on how to move forward. This breakout is happening this week and next week.

1. Write summary once a month in place of Jane to give her a break

2. Be part of an ad hoc team for Jane to call on

3. Contribute to the weekly summary with poem/ art/ etc.

4. Help to correct misspelling, etc. in the Otter transcript

Support from Jane: Writing out the purpose & her method of doing weekly summaries

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Celebration of Leadership - Jan 20

• Let's make all our capacities redundant. Let go of all the uniqueness that make so many people happy.
• Leaders need support. what support do we need to fully embrace the dual commitment…. To give what we can and are willing to give and no more.
• =Tell in advance the order of the queue (A first, then B)
• =I want to slow down because inside there is quaking "it's me, about me", and that distracts me from my purpose
• =I'm sorry I missed the last thing you said.
• We perpetuate low capacity around us.
• =Her capacity increased when we agreed to not make agreements. She doesn't withdraw when her capacity drops. I don't go mad.
• When we expect someone to individually get better and solve conflict themselves, the actual conflict system is eruption.
• Relaxed when our needs are not met
• Speaking without being connected to my being & feelings. 
• I can't deny what's moving through me.
• =Is it within capacity for you to give us links to your piano channel?
• =There's power in saying something with shaking and trembling and tears.
• Noam Chomsky - Manufactured Consent
• Carry one another tenderly, think loving thoughts
• = I want to stop you, although it started earlier.
• = Quit thinking. Ask questions and ask others to ask you questions
• Reframing aspirations to practicals. Hippies community lean very heavily on ideals.
• I will only go there if there's one person who will stand up for me when things go badly.

@I take up too little space.

@Like M, I check out, I shy away from showing my feelings and the depths of my care.