Nonviolent Practice Hour - Metta Center

 Aug 19th - Debriefing

“You are a light. You are the light. Never let anyone—any person or any force—dampen, dim or diminish your light. Study the path of others to make your way easier and more abundant. Lean toward the whispers of your own heart, discover the universal truth, and follow its dictates. […] Release the need to hate, to harbor division, and the enticement of revenge. Release all bitterness. Hold only love, only peace in your heart, knowing that the battle of good to overcome evil is already won. Choose confrontation wisely, but when it is your time don't be afraid to stand up, speak up, and speak out against injustice. And if you follow your truth down the road to peace and the affirmation of love, if you shine like a beacon for all to see, then the poetry of all the great dreamers and philosophers is yours to manifest in a nation, a world community, and a Beloved Community that is finally at peace with itself.”

― John Lewis, Across That Bridge: A Vision for Change and the Future of America

SOAPS - Subjective, Objective, Assessment, Plan, Self-Care

• What doctors and nurses use to record on patients
• Subjective: How people feel? 
• Validate the experience, allow them to claim their slice of reality
• Objective: What happened?
• Example: After an argument, one person walked to ask "Can you show me where... is?". One person asked "Where did you get that beautiful cane? I want one for my mom too."
• Different people at different corners will see different things.
• Remove the person out of danger zone.
• Assessment: What did I/ somebody do that worked well to deescalate? What didn't?
• Strategize: have someone to address the attackers, another to protect the threatened person
• Possible: another person to address catcalls in the crowders
• Plan: What can we prepare in case similar things happen in the future?
• Plan enough people for the entire space, the number of people, of hotspots
• Self-Care: Helps you to go in to a situation without being retraumatized
• Sooth the 5 senses
• Announce to someone else to make it a commitment
• The creation of the peaceful presence begins long before you appear at the scene.

Question: 

4 D's - Distract, Delegate, Direct, Delay

DISTRACT

Distraction is a subtle and creative way to intervene. Distract either the harasser or the target with conversation unrelated to the harassment to derail and de-escalate the situation. 

• Use your gut to know when to come in. Best is to intervene before momentum builds up.
• Come in with both hands up, show you're safe. Spread calm and care.
• Look at them as not being hateful, but fearful. What happened to them? Empathize.

Examples:

• Ask for directions; Spill your drink “accidentally;”
• Pretend you know one of them.

DELEGATE

Bring in a 3rd party to help, possibly someone with more perceived authority. 

Examples: Alert a store manager, bus driver, club bouncer, or someone else to help intervene. Do not call the police unless requested.

DIRECT

Respond directly to the aggressor or physically intervene if necessary. Be confident, assertive, calm. 

Examples: Walk up to engage a street harasser and directly ask them to stop their behavior.

DELAY

If you can’t intervene in the moment, you can check in with the person being harassed afterwards to see if you can do anything to support them, illustrating that they are not alone. 

Examples: “Is everything okay? Is there anything I can do?” “Is there someone we can call?” “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

(Source: afcs.org)

Principles of Kingian Nonviolence

1. Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people.

2. The beloved community is the framework for the future.

3. Attack forces of evil and not persons doing evil.

4. Accept suffering without retaliation for the sake of the cause to achieve the goal.

5. Avoid internal violence of the spirit as well as external physical violence.

6. The universe is on the side of justice.

Apr 12th - CLARA

Introduction (name, where, tidbit)

Centering: Nonviolence daily inspiration from Gandhi

Skill: CLARA

• Deescalate violent situation

• Not to win argument, convince

• C: center (new add in): silence, in nature, regular basis to know how I feel at calmest

• L: listen, love & fear (not hate), what’s the undercurrent

• A: affirm - common ground

• R: respond/Reveal how u feel

• A: add info

Wait for the other to calm down

Especially when hate comes out of the blue

Remember hate comes out of fear (hurting, afraid, out of control

Build, protect, bridge, break walls

Integral Fast Reactors, otherwise known as Sodium Reactors.  There is a book Prescription for the Planet by Tom Blees that explains a lot

You don’t now how to carry this and that’s why you lash out

Plan good surprises for people - the world isn’t out to get you

Have a mantra to re-center: Rama - short form

Bracket all things with centering & self-care

stephenn.mpt@gmail.com 540-519-4211