Chấp nhận bản thân - Những lối về Giải phóng #4

 

Chấp nhận bản thân: Chấp nhận bản thân với sự quan tâm vô điều kiện

• Có xu hướng tự phán xét bản thân theo thói quen đặc trưng bởi sự xấu hổ, tự trách bản thân, tự phê bình, phòng thủ hoặc tự đề cao mình
• Nhận diện những lời tự phán xét và nhận ra những tác hại của chúng lên hạnh phúc của bản thân; khao khát sự tự chấp nhận bản thân
• Dần chấp nhận và phản hồi cởi mở nhiều hơn đối với những cảm xúc, suy nghĩ, nhu cầu và hành động của bản thân
• Luôn có sự rõ ràng nội tâm và quan tâm đến bản thân

Write down one judgment about Jim (Jim is ... OR Jim should ...)

• Jim is slow. He shouldn't waste his time doing this surface fluffy stuff. He should pack in more punch and helps me go deeper.

Do you have the same judgment of yourself? In other words, do you have the same rule applied to yourself? 

• I shouldn't waste my time doing this surface fluffy stuff. I am too slow.

Repeat it to yourself 3 times. Notice the sensations in your body.

• Despair. Fear. I will never get anywhere at this rate. I'm wasting mom's blood and sweat. I'm wasting the earth's resources.

Follow your feelings to your needs. 

"I love it when there is ..."

• I love it when there is action, depth, change, movement, opening, growth, realization - clarity, newness, flow. I love it when there is flow.

Say it 3 times to yourself. Add warmth or caring to your voice, as if you're speaking to a precious 4-year-old. 

How do you feel?

• Relief. Freedom.

Go back to the judgment about Jim. Identify one specific thing he did/ didn't do. How do you feel?

• He takes 30 minutes just to say hello to everyone. I feel frustrated and antsy. Khang you are always trying to do many things at once to be more productive. I love it when you can relax and play and really be present.

Guide asks (Mary MacKensie)

1. What is a moral judgement you have of another person? Guide the explorer to create a one sentence judgment, for example “My neighbor is disgusting and rude.”
2. Do you sense you have the same judgment of yourself? In other words, is it ok for you to be “disgusting or rude” (or whatever the judgement is?)
3. When you say the judgment, how do you feel?
4. What need is alive in you?
5. Express the need as a sentence: I love it when there is        need      . Repeat it 3 times. 
6. How do you feel now?
7. When you think about the other person behaving in the same way, how do you feel?
8. What is the specific behavior that triggers the judgment?
9. How do you feel? If the explorer feels separate, clarify the judgment. 
10. What’s important to you?
11. Express the need as a sentence: “I love it when there is       (need)       .
12. How do you feel now? Is that complete, so we can switch?

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Viktor Frankl

Practice Group: Rafael iamtsog999@gmail.com or Charles at: charleslove2008@yahoo.com