Session 1: Vision

Those with 🦒 are assistants. The one with 🌱 is “Compost”. If you have any frustration or complaint during the session, please private  message them. The one with ❤️  is “Empathy”. If you need empathy during the session, please private message them. They will engage with you. Other roles will be explained in the session.

CHAT: Except private messages and ✨“golden nuggets” capturing and sharing the essence of teaching, please choose not to use CHAT unless explicitly invited. This is to support teachers’ focus on their presentations.

“PARKING LOT” if you like to share your experience, please use the Parking Lot, a “easy retro” app space where you can type your voices in. https://easyretro.io/publicboard/DVf1ZExb46YQUa4fIjqin2GGh213/854a93d3-556e-4d51-a775-670384207515

Go to a precious place for me as a child
I'm here for the children that are suffering
for myself who's so lost.

Participant Landing Page "READ ME"

*As much structure as possible, as much inner work as necessary
interdependent weaving process
a framework that supports us in holding & closing the gap
specify where to put energy
liberation framework for internal & structural liberation
make everything explicit

EXAMPLE:
Vision:
surrounded by what nourishes us
resting in our limits
recognize fragility & interdependence
joy of being alive & serving, offer gifts we have
appreciate the act of doing nothing as much as doing something
leaning into faith in our collective capacity

Now: don't know how to care for our limits
If we don't have vision, we close the gap implicitly in the direction of the now (numbness, compliance, addiction, patterns that keep us in the now and make the vision appear impossible)

Purpose: (enough tension to help us move, anchored in vision AND action)
- Building collective capacity through interweaving nature & human in societies 
Value: (if we're totally immersed in vision)
- Humility: embrace my limits with tenderness (take a chunk of vision into my life)
Capacity/ Theory of Change: Where do I focus my energy to energize myself & increase my capacity to move towards vision?
Mission:
- Plant trees in cities
Practices
Agreements

Gentle Tool - power is intrinsic in its softness. Softness is the only way to transform patriarchy.
Who is holding the though 'I "SHOULD" learn this" - notice it, this is NOT what we meant to do

*There's no other place to be, no other way to be now
We don't need an external vision as babies. We have it. It's called life. We're within that vision. It's in our cells.
When we start getting praise & criticism, we lose the innate connection to life.
A longing that never happened
Write down a place in my life that is not working, I want to transform. Not limited to my own life. Vision is the largest possible way.

My addiction - I wish I can stay centered, soulful, in flow
I wish the trash is not there. that all things are recyclable
I wish all streets have these huge trees and houses are are nesting against them
I wish there are people to hug me every day, to be wrapped in hugs, in love. Collapse into crying, being received.
I want my sexual energy to be released, tended to, sensual service, giving and receiving w full consent
My mom & sister & family to be at peace
no guilt, tươi mới, full, warm and fresh & energetic, caring, holding your hand, I trust you, I'm with you, so happy just to see you, your smile, I can do all of these weird dance moves, say all the things in my mind
=give yourself permission to be with the lack
I can bring the depth of my being to each encounter. We can bring the depths and fullness of our being to each encounter.
bringing forth their full essence, genuine self-confidence & unique gifts & limitations
walking together as part of a vast network of trust



1. What you mourn
2. What do you imagine
3. What is the need
4. What is the vision in a larger sentence
What is the deepest yearning of the wildest place within you?
Don't worry at all if it's possible

It's not disrupting our lives. It's disrupting our trance.


Session 2: Purpose

Celebration: Start by celebration new learning/ insight, to connect to vision
@I feel so happy just rereading my vision, looking at photos. I feel I'm so loved by so many different people. I reclaim my old self - fun, energizing, always caring, visionary.
=I notice I'm telling myself
Expand my vision outside my professional field

Chop off the vision, your values & purpose lack a lot of energy
When you orient to "a world that works for all", lots of practices don't organize
Patriarchy: a world that works for all the good guys
Challenge of organizations: No voice, always through specific individuals ==> need integration of all the approximations to come up with something that's close

Take in the enormity of what we're doing, walking towards vulnerability
Receive each other's vision with tenderness

A baby is born into the operational trust that there is a world ready to satisfy in love and care all that he or she may need for his or her living, and therefore is not helpless. 
-- uncouple dependence from helplessness, helplessness is about those who can't be there to care for us because of their conditions

We come with such openness and dependent. The only way we can make sense of the world is to internalize.

3 powers that hold us back in old consciousness
  1. Brain: Pull us back to what we already know. New things are dangerous.
  2. Family: Reward/ punish every time we try to nurture our vision seeds.
  3. Society: Reinforce narrative

The most powerful healing & transformational power that we have as humans: compassion.
=To think that all is on me, all is within my capacity

Where is a gap for me between where I am and the vision?
Values: What pulls me towards vision internally
Purpose: What pulls me towards vision externally

Across the world individuals are coming together to liberate themselves and each other from the grip of patriarchal conditioning, unleashing their innate human capacity for leadership, stepping into their power to care for the whole in interdependent relationships, and passing on the possibility of re-mothering our world through narratives and agreements that are oriented to needs and natural limits. 

@Vision: 
  • We bring our depths and fullness into each encounter.
  • We honor nature's embodied intelligence
  • We are nourished by compassionate giving & receiving.
My vision is still limited to myself and my loved ones. There is not a phrase in it that speak about "unleashing my leadership" or "stepping into our power to care for the whole in interdependent relationships".

Gap internal 5/4/24: 
  • Addiction, anxiety, self-doubt, guilt, distracted.
  • I don't know a lot about nature - how to grow & cure myself with natural remedies. I'm not sensitive/ exposed to nature's lessons.
  • I feel a lot of constriction around giving, a lot of fear around receiving. Lack of trust.
Gap external 5/4/24:
  • Ppl in workplace, family, stressed out.
  • Ppl around me also don't know nature. We're very disconnected, protected, so touch with soil, water, fire.
  • The money system.
Read the vision out loud, embody it, read it as if you're there
Values: cover the vision without overlapping
  • Presence: drop into our depths, concentrated, alert
  • Trust: open to all that happens, resting in clear-eyed karma, in ever-present grace
  • Honesty: share the truth about our needs & limitations
=Notice how gentle and delicate the work is. I never move this fast.

Within the vision, there's a piece you can uniquely bring into being. What is yours to do?
@To recognize and shed light on the sacred possibilities within conflicts

=Keep all pieces as we work with people. Some pieces may go into mission, TOC, etc. Allow what comes to come.
dynamic & gradually: It's called a course, but it's meant to be companionship for you. The purpose of the course is to be DONE. But the resources, people are here for you. There is no limit, or competition w ourselves.

It's been decades that I'm called naive. One of the poison arrows of patriarchy is calling anything that isn't patriarchy naive. Gradually release myself from depending on what others say to trust myself. Some part of you, who signed up for this course, that is willing to risk it.

Childish is used to negate someone. I wish all of us can come back to childlike.

Every word is a dancing in us. Let them simmer and settle.

When doubts come up, keep them as limitation. Then transforming limitation into practices.

What's the deepest yearning of the wildest place within me?

Intention 11a. When I'm drawn towards engaging in inner work with myself or others, I aim to first seek possible agreements that support and alternate pathway, and only to enter into inner work when I'm not able to find such a path.

Session 3: Capacity Assessment & Theory of Change

Celebration
  • I have a buddy. I take this class one piece at a time instead of cramming. I share w Ellie. I think of my purpose all the time.
  • We're coming from thousands of years of the same. Chaos & questions marks & reframing are part of the game.
Emma's Purpose: Find context-specific strategies for people working towards transformation to exit patriarchal functioning, and increased capacity to align with vision.

Where we've internalized some patriarchal beliefs, our energy constricts, cannot be released.

TOC: Shift from shoulds to coulds - what is actually possible. Orient to what our actual capacity is. What actually gives me energy?
  • Seeing each other, welcoming each other
  • When we're babies, losing/ having less energy is normal in the flow of things.
  • Now, the way we look at things/ what I'm telling myself, not just how things are, drains my energy.
  • What can help me regenerate my flow without thinking that having less capacity means something negative?
  • Take a different path within how we relate to our energy.
  • A fountain that I go to when I'm thirsty.
  • We so internalized the external measurements (Excellence, Success). In society, we're always talking achievement, NOT limitations.
  • Being with what actually is here, allow things to start to move by their own accord.
What are the impacts of over-stretching?
- I take so much more time to rebound afterwards. Plus the guilt of not recovering faster.
- Do I want to live in a world where people kill themselves in the name of XXX?
- Nothing gets done until there is willingness & energy to do it.

This is a big consciousness shift. So I want to put attention back to this community, where we struggle & discover & celebrate.

@I want to slow this down in real time. So she said she felt constricted when Arnina was cut off.
=If you can hear fully for a moment, the way I heard you, I heard blame. Can you hear me for a moment and not hear blame. I heard a deep yearning to understand, to be involved, to use this and apply in your life. I want to assure that we're so dedicated to that. I LOVE IT that you're bringing this as a request. I request you to keep staying attentive to when you think your need/ strategy are not met. I'd like to hear how you're doing just w what I say up until now. 
=The more tenderness & clarity you can bring into the request, the more all of us can bring this work into the world.
We will wound each other, because all of us are wounded.

VM Holding team example: We focus our energy where there are clear openings to mobilise the VM framework, creating direct community feedback loops that nourish the needs-oriented growth of our work.

What is it that when you focus your attention on it, it gives you energy.
Something that energizes you in the strengths/ openings
@Strength: When I focus on SSp kindness, I have energy in me, generosity.
@Opening: I receive energy from GTTA classes where people absorb the teaching. Also from NGL work.

Sage: to create and support spaces of self empathy and nature based liberation for women and girls. When I focus my energy, inspiration, ideas, into creating a talk on the power of being connected to nature as a way to connect our own nature, thus increasing our leadership capacity. For this was I born.

When you focus on that, how does it give you energy to continue what you're doing? What is the energy that comes out of doing that? How does the energy feed the purpose?

Whoever I am, I didn't create myself. There are things I received as gifts. Strengths are smaller than gifts. When you look at yourself from the outside, imagining you're a little girl, what does that little girl enjoy doing and does well? Can I celebrate those?

It can be uneasy and wonderful altogether. The luxury of breath. 
=Take a breath. We're all free to leave.
=I need a moment. I also need reflection to make sure that I'm being clear with what I wanted to say.

Session 4: P&P, Accompaniment, Concepts

don't try to hard, the earth only needs to receive the rain. allow the rain of truth to come in and penetrate, and nourish the seeds of your wisdom, for the benefit of all beings

3 groups - Power & privilege (P&P team); Accompaniment on VM (Emma); Conceptual questions (Miki)
  • Use feedback as input for capacity assessment
  • If you're passionate or impacted by P&P
    • NVC & VM: bias towards vision. We're very good at seeing what's not working. NVC & VM helps us to be specific about what we want.
    • VM: Make agreement that is completely within capacity. Usually agreements are reharshed shoulds.
    • TC: Spefic practices for mourning & acceptance.
    • NVC: Different way of looking at human nature. Everything is through the lens that is the radical premise that is the baseline of NVC. Philosophical & spiritual foundation - Everything that every human beings have ever done/ feel, is an expression of the same set of universal human needs.
    • NGL & TC: Phenomenon-based lens. Only descriptive. No right/wrong. Systemic lens = de-personalize, de-pathologize.
  • We haven't taught how to make agreements
  • Outside capacity to ask for agreements when we haven't digested more & brought compassion to expand the lens on systemic/ historical context
=Keeping a finger on the worst of humanity with a sense that there's a possibility of transforming it

Capitalism = extreme intensification of the original patriarchal turn away fr life. 3 layers of extraction. No possibility of redeeming capitalism. Destructive machine that relies on extraction (khai thac).
=Pause to have a moment to find your translation into your language.
  • Extract fr non-human life & the material basis of the world, "raw materials". Take fr a finite planet to create growth. WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABT THAT WITHIN WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE. THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS CHANGE OUR RELATIONSHIP TO MAKING EVERYTHING AN OBJECT.
  • Extract capacity/labor fr ppl who're in groups that have been assigned a status of "serving the material benefits of the field". 4 forces: colonization, slave trade, witch hunt, forcing ppl out of land.
  • Extract labor fr women to sustain, reproduce, care for, feed, shelter, mend, etc. to make it possible for work to continue while never being paid for it. I want no one to be paid for anything. I want all labor to come back to needs, not to producing.
  • It is so painful. Instead of looking at it, we go into should.
=There'll be a lot of pain. A lot of pull to attend to it in specific ways. We're NOT going to attend to do it in those ways. We're going to re-direct into the work that we do in VM.
=If I let it land longer, I'll wail.

A value that is way outside of my capacity
A value that is so integrated that I put it back down into my strength
Share my purpose & value w the class to co-hold
Small vision noodles, not overarching
My vision is what this world needs, and that's not related to my worth. My worth is not related to what I bring.

Nerds=thrive on concepts, putting things together

Emma's Room

- stuck
- need tweaking
- unsure

Marina
= build more relationship before doing this work, to know how to work with you
Vision: A collective of humans allowing our activists parts to come forward to dream, to learn, to inspire, to support each other in taking steps towards the world we want to live in. We have adequate childcare. we have a shared foundation that is anti-patriarchal & with reverence for the earth. When we meet, we sit on the earth, as a sign of our humility toward and with her. Prayers is the bookend for our work.

Capacity Assessment: 2 ways
- before VM, charting overall strengths/ limitations --> Finetune
- Strengths/ limitations I have in relation to

=First read your vision out, so we can orient towards that.
=We share values about respect, non-intrusiveness (choice) w particular attention to those who're most impacted historically, improve choice for them. When you go deeply into a part of your vision, I want to capture it.
=Values: As you were entering into that world, sensing into it, being into it, as if in a book, what qualities do you embody, when that world exists

=When you speak that sentence, what is the sensation in your body? Is it something that your energy wants to move towards? The wording doesn't need to be perfect. We're looking for that pull in PURPOSE. What we focus on ourside of ourselves that bring our vision into being in the world around us.

We stretch for the rich males, and we don't stretch for the marginalized.
Just do a little bit of VM, one foot in front of the other.

Session 5: Agreements

If we live in the world of vision, we don't need agreements, because these things are integrated. (e.g. We don't need to agree to breathe.)
Concretize our vision
Value pulls us towards vision, TOC gives us energy
Where we have less capacity to just know what to do, we need agreements
Capillaries: cover small areas, to anchor me in material
Is there something I can lean on in this moment? If we only have vision to lean on, we need so much energy.

MISSION = what I do, Purpose = why I do it
Miki's purpose (what's mine to do to bridge the gap between where I am now and my vision): Identify, experiment with, articulate and pass on pathways to a future that's ...
- The structures that are destroying the planet are within me. Even if things outside don't change, there're things to change inside and vice versa.
Mik's mission: What do I do to identify/ experiment/ articulate/ pass on
- Write out everything
- Goal: Complete the packets

Patriarchal conditioning: Agreements are things imposed on us.
Why do we need agreements? Can't we just trust each other? But when the going gets rough, we won't do it.
Agreements can be friends when I RELEASE ALL SHOULDS. Whatever is not within capacity, it will breakdown. 2 reasons why we don't keep agreement: (1) We lied about our willingness. (2) We were willing but we ignored out capacity.

Agreement at resource flow: Agreement about how I assess my capacity

Capitalism keeps us occcupied in constant self-improvement.
There is nothing in me that is fundamentally worse than any human who has ever lived. I have flaws. There's nothing about me that needs to be fixed.

If it doesn't contribute to my purpose, or a specific block, I let others know.

Session 5 - Arnina's Room: Limitation to Agreement

This is not personal
Self-acceptance is the antidote to patriarchy
Not trusting something - implies separation, implies I'm better
Do you want a world where people don't trust each other.
  • Go internal: where is this coming from?
  • Go to agreement: As soon as I catch yourself ..., I will.

As soon as I catch myself feeling anxious, I will not open my computer.
As soon as I catch myself opening incognito

What is your vision when you are nervous?
- I want to be compassionate to myself --> make it bigger
- Within a bigger vision: Everyone in this room has compassion for ourselves
We're always judging, it's not personal. The worst already happened, we already judge you, are you still alive?
Take a breath. Consciously. Look at me, we're human, wounded humanity. When we judge you, it's because we're confused, not because you're wrong.
We believe that by judging ourselves, we'll learn and become better. This is an invention, not the truth.
When I catch myself judging myself, I will
  • Breathe
    • Remind myself: This is a collective habit.
    • Do "I'm hearing myself telling myself..." exercise
  • If I cannot breathe, I will
Sylvia's purpose: Create healing experience to connect with ourselves, each other, and nature
  • Moments when they happen: This is hopeless. In moments of challenge, brain/society will pull me back --> Create conversations outside of it.
  • Conversations when you initiate about that
With every possible relationship, about challenging patterns, initiate conversation - Bring the depths of what's going on for both side. Not on the content level, but emotional/ relational level.
We lost trust. We feel lonely, so we try to convince & control. Almost impossible to recover from old wounds. 
When you catch yourself trying to convince them, you can ... breathe.
Choose a sentence you can tell yourself: Say "I'm noticing that I'm going into my habit."

I can only do myself. It won't happen with them.
We need mourning later. Maybe after a few conversations, some can catch some of your vision. We can long for it, not expect it.

Stephen: I'm a bad listener. I think I'm better.
=Let's celebrate for a moment that you know better. Sometimes it's true. Let's have some place for that, before or after you judge it. What does it mean you're a bad listener? It means nothing! Let's name ourselves with less judgment. If you have more space, less judgment. Enjoy yourself first, then find other ways to describe yourself, then you'll have more space to listen.
Can you find the non-judgmental aspect of "impatient"?
When I'm judging myself, I'm not living up to my vision.

"I don't know how to do this. More than I'm able to do now."
Darling there are 2 options: It might be true or not true.
If it's not true, you're in an old belief, judging yourself.
No one on the planet says that you have to do it now and perfect.
=There's something in you that know you better than your mind. It's taking you places with a ton of care.
Look at your rhythm of leanring, not faster than it is now.
When a phrase starts with "everybody", when I hear myself thinking in terms of "everybody", I know that I lost myself. Why not suffer if we can suffer? This is not a race. The purpose is for you to come back very slowly after it's over.
=Is what I'm saying entering your heart? Only what touches you there you go.

Session 5 - Emma's Room: Limitation to Agreement

Physicality of our body: here is where agreement exists

Monique: I don't feel I have the capacity to deal w somebody else when they break agreement
- If we need to reschedule, give 24 hour notice --> 
- Inviting her into caring for what you're holding with you
- (1) Why is the agreement important? (2) What is the impact if it's not kept?
-----> 24-hour notice might be "nice to do" unless you SAY how important
  • Make an agreement about the impact when agreement is not kept --> next time we call, 30 mins willl be spent to hold the impact together 
    • mutual mattering -- recover in our human experience. We live individual lives, disconnected from the planet. I want to restore those feedback loops.
  • Make another agreement with yourself, put it in your Instruction Manual: When I'm angry twice, this is what I will do to restore my sanity. So this leaves no gaps for interpretation.
Marie: When someone speaks w anger/intensity, I have a very strong pattern of closing down.
Have a lot of tenderness for the places where you shut down.
My purpose is to open organismically to people who has a lot of pain.
Bring more choice into the moment & subvert the freeze
People around who you can (a) make agreement with or (b) inform them what you will do when activated
  • I will need to step away for 15 minutes
  • Tell them about your purpose, I want to stay present, I want to practice to increase my capacity, can you hold this with me.
Resource Flow: How we care for our energy together?

Stain of having 3 days of depression stays - body carries a tally. Cataclysmically triggered
Reactions are never out of proportion. They are proportionate to what's happening within you. 
  • In a moment when there's settling. Re-groove/ Re-do: What you'd like to have said/ them to have done? Create different pathways
  • Where there are entrenched patterns - Repeating thought/ sensation --> use that as an anchoring. If you see that sensation coming, make an agreement about "When I sense this, I will say one good thing about myself."

Session 6: Agreements

Celebrating Challenges: What's the gift of the challenge?
@I'm seeing how anger can blind me, make me lie. Even when I run through my values, the teachings of my teacher, even can name the need behind the other person's needs, still the anger kept boiling. I feel the same stain. I have so much enemy image. It's horrifying. I have so much hatred.
Lean into a value.
Compass's intention: Connect - Choose - Influence change
Studying advanced math - you are studying a new way (language) and the practices (content) at the same time

The structures we live within: Scarcity. We internalize the agreements of the structure, you relax into knowing what will happen, even if you don't like what'll happen.

Anything that we talk about (intent, want, aim) that we don't anchor in material agreements is unlikely to happen. Because patriarchal agreements are held deeply in material plane. 
E.g. Most ppl believe in RJ. Until their friend does something they don't like, they'll cut off that friend. We slip back into punitive responses. If we don't have clear agreements about how resources flow based on willingness, they will flow based on incentives, exchange, etc.
  1. Decision making: What, Who, How
    • Usual: either/or. Let's just vote, we don't have time, why don't SOMEONE decide
    • Vision: integration -- work for more and more people
  2. Information Flow (3 flow areas, we don't make decision)
    • Usual: control - great effort put in control where, who
    • Vision:  transparency - as much info available & usable for as many ppl as posisble (but not laiser-faire)
  3. Resource Flow: HARDEST - Robust agreements particularly needed
    • Usual: Incentive/ Punishment/ Exchange
    • Vision: Willingness/ Gift
  4. Feedback Flow
    • Usual: perform --> you're supposed to change
    • Vision: learning for everyone
  5. Conflict Engagement https://thefearlessheart.org/flow-decision-making-and-conflict/
    • When flow is interrupted, if we have trust --> go to decision-making
    • If not --> attend to trust = activate conflict system
    • Usual: Consequences
      • Patriarchy thinks "I don't have capacity" is evading responsibility. So look at "capacity" from a lens of trust & acknowledgement of our humanness.
      • What comes to you when you think of the word capacity? Do I have courage & honesty to say that when it's true? 
    • Vision: Capacity - conflict is a symptom of capacity. The more capacity, we can integrate bigger problems. Less capacity --> lose trust more easily?
3 ways in which systems evolve
  • Review periodically: Review vision every week
  • Capacity increases: agreements no need to be explicit, find more pieces of vision to be made into agreement
  • Capacity decreases ==> Add more agreements, agreements are our friends
  • Feedback: Conflict is feedback for which there is no capacity to integrate ==> help system evolve
@I need to be honest about my lie. I need support on this.

Extract from a suggested value bits for principle, bits for future mission

Emma & Arnina: Where are we seeing explicit & implicit agreements in the course?
Trainers decide what's relevant, what feedback will be integrated.
Participants implicitly agree that their expression will be coached.

Miki: Specific Agreement
=Is there a question within those 2 pages that you can ask?
Technically, Information Flow is a subsystem of Resource, Feedback is sub of Info
E.g. I will drink more water. vs Everytime I walk into the kitchen, I will drink a cup of water.
Specific: Who does it, when, how to remind them
How many people are using agreements? Not about completion

Every Monday morning, send an email to yourself to check with your body: Are you ready to make agreement now?
An implicit agreement that you have with yourself? E.g. time for spirit every morning. You don't have agreement about finding a location. 1-5 little agreements when YOU want to.
Make sure he gets The Compass support

Any principle of self-selection for people entering - Agreement part of onboarding. Foundational agreement.
When someone tries to change me, I just act spontaneously. -- This is not within capacity. A smaller agreement -- Whenever I perceive someone as trying to control me, I write down the things happening in me. FULLY WITHIN CAPACITY.

When I make a decision about ..., I consult with X before I make it.
I don't trust them.
If agreement NOT within capacity, try to make an agreement to observe it first, before anything.
If agreement not kept, I start upstream about why are the agreements not kept? To find something within capacity so we will not re-negotiate.

When you diligently honor personal & collective capacity, it actually increases capacity.
Even if they lie, and you accept it, next time they're less likely to lie.
I agree with myself to not change my behavior in anyway, and to just be present.
=the depth of acceptance is what's so thrilling here

Agreement is towards care, not progress. If we place our attention on care, progress happens.

Session 7: Agreements

Look at capacity in a system
Nothing go to waste.

=Can you extract from it the thread of meaning that people don't need more details?
What vision I can extract from this negative experience?
@I want to stay focused. To feel inspired.

When we believe at face value what people say about their capacity, we increase capacity.

1. Miki - Choose that P&P room if you're willing to follow my leadership, receive coaching
2. Emma - Make agreement within capacity - not a SHOULD
3. Arnina - Relationship w capacity - shame/blame/ reacting

How do I know if I'm in capacity?
- engaged. I don't need to stimulate myself. Alert. Have some buffer room for negative feedback. Wanting to move towards. Talk & share a lot, open, saucy, sexy, grounded, playful. I can slow down. Stay centered.
How do I know if I'm out of capacity?
- Reactive. Short-tempered. Sleepy. I only care for myself. I can't calm my thoughts.
It's not possible for me to say yes/no to a meeting now. Can I say it before the meeting?
When I have a fear response, I will reach out to a friend. Find presence/ place of grounding with the fear.

As much as possible go into opening. As much as needed go into obstacle.

Situation where I want someone to do something
- I want her to NOT watch movie. To sleep, rest, learn. Show me you're trying. 
- phenomenon - repeating situations
- Speak the unspoken conversation - in togetherness
- "Now it has to happen too fast." Some people will look at X as having power, and X is using power against others. 
=How is your self-judgment related to capacity?
- There's something in our body that knows. Ppl depends on you. You have an important role.
- The shift is listening to the movement of life in its primal experience.
- We want to control the consequences. That's no trust.
What's the worst that can happen?
-> make them your ally, be vulnerable why you're doing this, invite them to learn with you to trust life, who might take leadership from them while I go learn sth that's bigger, 

You do this. You're so much better at this.
Practice this terrible thing of opening your heart.
What can we do to go deeper in togetherness? Please give me ideas.

How to create agreements in the impact-intention field?
The more exclusive things are, the more choice there is, the more collaboration.

To mourn, I Release my expectation that my needs will be met.

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