Empathy & Request - April 4
Beloved Divine Energy
Source energy moving through us seeking self-fulfilment
- Need is intangible
- Our need is OUR responsibility AND contribution is the most fun thing to do. This wanting to be loved, taken home, reassured.
@Shift my attention to that need. This is not just an intellectual exercise.
Find that void in my soul. That gnawing. I'm somehow not okay, I need to learn more, do more.
Can we just sit here and be together?
Where do I feel a need in my body?
I'm uncomfortable. I don't know why.
@Communication breakdown:
Neighbor start singing at 9pm, end at 10:30pm. Although we already had a conversation to stop at 9-9:30.
Jackals: He doesn't care.
I don't have the energy to go talk to him. I'm scared he will judge me. I can't stand up for my needs.
I want to be carefree and casual, not so burdened anymore.
Go out more, water the plants.
I want him to care about me.
It felt even worse.
Ease & connection.
You don't need to become his friends for him to respect your hours.
To matter, to be acknowledged,
I want to matter to you. Why don't I matter to you? And it's okay?? It's okay to not matter?
I matter to myself, again and again. I matter to myself. I matter to God.
To be really present
To give a name to the experience. Drop in, what's real now?
I thought we confirmed. I don't want to come.
Predictability
Gave too much = overwhelmed
She doesn't communicate readily around these things
A week before. I got you on the phone.
She will judge me
Not being confident as a mom to an adult child
I cannot count anyone to be there for me.
Feelings hurt, sad, frustrated, annoyed, for getting hooked into that dynamic
You don't trust me, trust my good intention, trust that I'll show up
=I got a pop up message, didn't hear you at all. Would you be willing to say again, I really want to hear you?
The class is very long. It's my own feedback. I'm here to take.
(15m) Hellos & song
(20) Check in: any NVC moments that you would like to share or anything else you would like to be heard for.
@It's not "the same old story". They're saying something entirely new.
Empathy Practice - April 11
Connection is soothing
Use as few words as possible. Respectful presence. At the end there may be a shift
I want to eat, and I'm afraid of distracting people. If you're distracted, can you let me know?
I want to stay connected. Is it a pain inside myself too, that I want to be as present as possible, with my food, and with you. It's sweet to pay all my attention in one place. It releases energy.
I think I'm judged. It's very painful. I want to protect you. I have so much constriction around money. There's so much judgment. Value & money.
Mom said: Why don't you leave the noodles back for the kids?
I sense disapproval. I really want to be seen for my good intention - I want to protect her. That was enough generosity.
I feel shame. I even covered up the noodles bowl. I didn't let people SEE me take that bowl.
I don't want to be seen as selfish, calculative. I really want to be seen as generous, giving.
As for mom: I want to treat people well. For the ones I love, I will go to all lengths. I'm dying, I've spent SO MANY YEARS scrimped and saved. I couldn't give you more when I was younger. I want to give you now. Why don't you let me express my love? Why do you judge my love as extravagance, squandering?
appreciate her gifts first, don't judge it. Celebrated. Not so many chances of showering love.
I can give, this is my source of power
Do you feel pressure when you spend money? I want to appreciate it, and I need you to help me.
Brigitte: Took up all the time. Consideration. Mourning the wisdom that was lost.
You're at capacity.
I don't have a choice.
You want some understanding that there is not choice here. This is something you have to, have to do.
I'm not within the context, I may not understand the energy at play.
I really want to hear from Nora first, then I'll get to you.
You haven't figured out how to stay in 2 places at once.
4 chairs - April 18
Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes (1993) by Alfie Kohn
Jackal has a heart. Jackal is a Giraffe with a lump in her throat.
I use this all the time. Sometimes when I feel stuck, I run through the chairs.
Cảm hứng:
Tưởng tượng: Người đồng bào đã nghèo rồi lại còn lười, càng lười lại càng nghèo. Em làm mấy cái trò trẻ con này chẳng có ích lợi gì đâu.
JO: Em thừa nhận là có một phần lớn dân số họ ăn nhậu nhiều, họ thấy khó thì họ ngại, họ không làm, mình bày cho họ thì họ không cố gắng, bảo họ đi học thì họ không đi. Anh nói như vậy cũng không phải ạ. Có những cái yếu tố hệ thống nó chèn ép họ, nó giữ họ trong cái nghèo. Không phải ai cũng có may mắn có vốn làm ăn. Không phải ai cũng sinh ra với chí tiến thủ. Nếu cha mẹ, ông bà họ có rất nhiều bất mãn, thì rất khó để họ có thể bước ra. Em thấy nếu mình vơ đũa cả nắm như vậy thì tức là mình đang không nhìn thấy những vấn đề hệ thống, mà như vậy thì mình chỉ đi vào lối mòn. Em không tin nổi là tới năm 2024 rồi mà những suy nghĩ này nó vẫn còn.
Mà em có nói nữa thì anh cũng không nghe nên thôi.
JI: Mình có nói thì cũng chẳng ích lợi gì. Anh ấy vẫn giữ ý định cũ thôi. Với anh thì nếu mình ko có kiến thức, bằng cấp, không phải là người có tiền, thì mình có nói cũng chẳng ích gì. Mình không có thế để nói với anh. Những cái mình biết cũng chỉ là lý thuyết thôi. Mình không có kinh nghiệm làm việc với đồng bào. Nói giỏi nhưng đã làm được gì? Em không
=I've been like this forever. I don't even know why. There is no hope.
Really leaning into JI allows me to access GI.
GI:
GO:
That's an easy way out to excuse yourself from the topic of poverty.
What an asshole thing to say?
You're so heartless, and blind.
You're poor because you're lazy and stupid.
I wish I had the means to pull myself up. I just don't know how to change it.
Shameful. I don't know if
I guess every
That hurts. Constructive communication.
I feel angry. Understanding.
The need to be right. I want to be right.
I always felt
T: This silence is uncomfortable.
JO: Bear it or leave it. It's exactly because you're too sensitive that you don't have friend.
JI: I'm not doing this well enough. She's probably judging that I'm forcing too hard.
GI: I'm very torn. I need time to put my thoughts together. I feel pressured.
GO: I get that you must be frustrated. You want to know that your story was fully received & respected.
I can't believe you really think that way about me.
I don't know how much further I can push myself.
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