Feb 22 - Individual & Collective Liberation
Spontaneity is beaten out of you
See one, Do one, Teach one - Emergency
When sb says something that results in an impact (NOT "caused" an impact, except materially, impact always has component of meaning)
=If what I said doesn't make complete & total sense, please raise your hand, because if you're confused, others are likely to be
Seed of liberation: I'm the author of my story. It's mine alone to choose the story I choose to tell myself.
Having choice in principle & in practical terms. In principle, we always have choice. In practical terms, many factor interfere. Humility/ mystery as antidote to control/ knowing
Naming something as "emotional abuse" may be one step towards liberation, not the destination.
We can't force the story to change. There's a reason why the story persist. Have a conversation with the story.
=What is it you want to be heard about? Is anyone able to make contact with what they're saying?
This is not the topic. / Are you open to go with someone so we don't take group time?
-- Find the stories/ viewpoints that help me step into the fullness of what we can give life and what's mine to do. If not we keep things as they are.
See beings as billions of undecided cells, instead of coalescing
Identity as something we chose - Miki's concern about not being grounded in material plane
When we have power, we can act out dehumanizing stories. When we don't have power, we have less chances.
Impact digestion = receives them so their nerves settle. Then unpack the story. Maybe they don't care but we don't actually know it.
Whether or not someone dismiss my trauma, my liberation is standing in my own confidence/ comfort.
=I don't experience any disagreement. I'm wondering if what you were saying and what I was saying are at odds?
--I didn't mean individuals determine for themselves whether they're traumatized. 3 moments, X happened, X traumatized me, I become aware.
@There is this frantic energy, keeping oneself protected, polished on all fronts, I'm backed with knowledge. Don't come at me, don't attack me. How I show up - Any pointers. I live in a perpetual fog, afraid of impacting others, afraid of being impacted, I show up in a very polished, self-contained, careful manner, I can't make mistake. Impact paralysis - I don't enter into that conversation.
=I have a belief that one more round will settle, maybe it's the belief is not true. I tried to integrate it into where I wanted to go.
=Earlier in the relationship with the person AND earlier in the cycle of the group, I interrupt less.
=30 seconds - what specific action I will take to apply
Separation doesn't disappear
Guess impact: Did that have an impact on you?
How do I step out of this?
How can we make impact less heavy? I feel responsible, that I have to take action, have to show my remorse, without sufficient holding of the heaviness I feel, without sufficient empathy/ consideration for me in this exchange. So I shut off. I'm afraid I'm feeding into her story/ soft spot. I feel like I don't have a choice in backing off. Maybe she also wants that. I want to be with you, just within MY capacity. This isn't about you. You can take it personal, and I'll have to make peace with that. You're upset at me, and that's alright. Can you hold this?
I have friend who went through a very difficult childhood and breakup, where she receives the massage that
I truly see things the way you see.
Vicious cycle
I know it will hurt because it took so much for her to share
Does my need matter too? Does it mean my need always need to be on the shelf?
Reactive - A
She needs to find it in her soul
Judgement that she's too sensitive
I think I'm responsible
anger --> I'm not the person I want to be. This is not how I want the relationship to be.
I want to be transparent.
@I've gotten a lot to de-monsterize others.
Apr 26 -
What I'm applying. Questions. Support.
Support network - I started, and then I stopped.
-- How deep my pattern of trying to make others comfortable go, especially those who I perceive to be more powerful than me in some ways
-- Impact Sharing - Huge step for me, to think that my experience matters in the big picture. I can say that I want to be treated like a human being, that I want a human-to-human connection with someone. It sounds really simple but in situations I'm working with, the human factor is the last thing to be considered.
-- What I need help with
Human in what conditions. Human in patriarchal systems.
Uses of the human - Kenneth Isaac
I had entire ocean shaking in my chest
affect phobia
accompaniment that let me cry when I need to
liberation
The only way to get NVC wrong is to think there's a way to get it right. The only way to get NVC right is to know that there's no way to get it wrong.
We cannot "make sure" and be in life's flow at the same time. If you're committed to control, you may as well not share power. To live in relationship, you can't control.
Pick the size, the time, context, within which you feel fully able to experiment and do it there.
Instead of saying: You're not doing what you're supposed to do, and therefore you're going to get punished, which puts the responsibility on the other person. Instead, you can say you're not doing what I asked you to do. I don't have the capacity to work it out with you, and sadly, the only thing I know to do is to punish you.
This is a limitation within me. Tender.
“Embrace your emotions” from ronald J frederick.
Feeling my feelings: https://teamup.com/ksv2xq34sxiagcuei1 https://possibilitymanagement.org/services
If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you.
If you don't bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you.
- quote from one of the gospels that didn't make it into the Bible
Breakout
Lilly Offer in a different way, small ways
Linda Adult-adult relationship with daughters. Parenting is protecting our children from our needs.
As a daughter I'm so clear that this is a first time you are being a mom.
Valuing our own reality
participate in a vision directly with surrender to life and see what will happen
Soul Collage
Christina: I just had an extremely powerful moment with Khang's sharing. I'm just felt, oh my god, yeah, it's like hitting I just felt like overwhelmed with connection and love and care for just the group and Khang and I just, I'm very grateful for that moment that's really sticking with me. Thank you,
I am so grateful for your share today, Khang. You are so strong and loving. I see you.
Thank you for willingness and courage, Khang. My heart was activated watching you and it was good exercise to go through w you. Thank you for allowing us to grow together 🤗🤗
Holding you and with you in your tears whenever they come.. and whenever they don’t come and are trembling inside of you in that ocean in your chest🫂thank you for sharing your sweet clarity and mourning with us 🫂
Thank you Danni for being here. I could never have been as honest about my needs if you weren’t here so many times to offer me the gift of being lovingly seen.
😭❤️🫂🎉🎉🎉we lead each other… and become more fully accepting of our own humanity and others… shifting the harsh patriarchal field into openness and love one baby step at a time…
hank you for the beautiful acknowledgement 🥹😭❤️ I feel seen and I’m so glad you raised your hand shared how you’re applying this precious work🥹🫂
May 26 - Find paths towards self-empowerment
Things that didn't go well for me. What I didn't like how I responded
- Margreet wanted to join meeting - I liked how I eventually responded - project's needs, her needs, my needs.
- Thuy asked what's the strategy - I smiled. Eventually I come back with ideas and people got on board
- My manager kept telling me: Budget is fixed. Hourly rate is fixed.
Don't work for too many hours because there is a budget constraint and she wants all countries to be paid the same way for fairness. I want work as much as I have capacity and be paid at an amount livable for me. I kept quiet.
This is what I didn't like about my response. I delay my response, always think for a long time.
--
What was the need on the line in this situation?
Physical, Freedom, Connection, Meaning
Need poetry - finding a full phrase to describe the need
I felt pressured, constricted. I'm not given wings to do my work, I was always reminded to do less hours, do smarter. I feel like I'm forever not effective enough. I imagine a demand and a criticism. This is not useful feedback that this is a specific thing that I do that can be done better and how. I want to involve fully #freedom, meaning and trusted #connection that things will work out.
I give her power to decide what's effective for me and my local people.
Value alignment - Inner clarity
Channel of connection within is what gets lost. As children we're not allowed to want or to move.
Movement restriction, wanting restriction.
nice girl training that you received and a lot of proper behavior for your class background. NOT compatible with intensity. Intensity is both scary and not accessible.
If you actually touch into a deep need, feel it, express it, something dangerous will happen.
I want you to feel it within.
You've done work in other ways, you feel discomfort but goes towards it.
Financial safety: access to resources to care for your sustainability. I cast them as the channel of resources. I give them a lot of power, not trusting my capacity to care for myself.
Within this channel of "financial safety", I want acceptance.
Efficacy - I do sth and it bears results (within meaning capacity)
The need to be known is deep.
What's the need at the heart of what I didn't like about how I responded
Why don't I like my slowness in responding. I shut down and avoided.
I didn't care for a substantial engagement with myself and the other person. The roughness of working things out between us even when there aren't enough resources. I'm afraid if things open up I cannot handle. Trusting that I can handle the heat and they can handle the heat however brittle we are. This connection can bear the grappling.
If you're triggered, something in you interprets situation as threat to survival. If you're reactive, you're not acting in terms of your value.
Don't think of me as being fragile? I'm sensitive.
Need to be seen as strong.
Not in integrity with my own value.
Safety: when sb get angry.
A friend took things personally & ended relationship.
UK adverse to transpeople - I was nice, behave conditionally and nicely
Sneak peak/ let's now see what's the final question is.
Connect with all the needs
- Freedom & Trust from her that I can handle my life
- Self-trust, faith. Trusting that I can handle the heat and so can this relationship
This is a topic that I think would be challenging for the capacity we both have at the moment, but I would like to risk it and just have it instead of waiting for this imagined time in the future when we are both happy and strong.
Asking for examples from the group to give more time to think, more reference to people, instead of using my own
The real thing you could have done is say Wait then self-connect, then acknowledge your pain
what the child did was already a reaction to disempowerment. Whining 2.5 yo. Whining is not inherent. Children do whatever they want. 7yo who was read a story.
Fathers said "we had an agreement" when truly parent is imposing.
Do you have within you the strength, conviction, internal alignment, which are all aspects of power to respond to him in the way that you want? "I cannot see my children suffer" - not be able to attend to a child's needs. It's so painful that parents say "You don't need this" when actually "Yes you need this and I can't give it to you and it' painful" to absolve themselves from the pain.
If you do this everyday for a few months, there will be noticeable changes.
="Sometimes it's really simple." and just the softness of it.
= Humor "everyone's name will be changed to Slow"
= Bring in an example: 100% incompetent and 100% efficacious: press on the wrong button but the wiring is wrong, wrong + wrong is right.
=
Struggling to discern what to do - To do the thing that is different from your habit. Not give examples then try it. If y
Jun 7 - Exit Money Field
Weak link: Giving money to others for things we need
Strong relationship forces people to exit the money exchange.
When I see your check, I think you only think about your needs and not mine. Can you consider my needs alongside yours? Not instead of yours, alongside.
Not to give 1 cent more or 1 cent less.
Undo everything about market value, is it worth it, I should, etc. Throw it out. Just ask yourself: Do I want to support NVC Academy and NGL? Do I have capacity? If you want and don't have capacity, mourn.
If you give, this work can continue. Others can benefit. You're already here, already benefited, nothing can change that.
How do distribute the stretch, when everyone is already stretched. Who does it make sense to stretch?
Most of it is just sensing, not conversation anymore.
Stretching - resentful, confused. Is it as simple as whoever has more willingness? And that's acknowledged not taken for granted.
Seriously overstretched. Not within my pattern of overstretching.It was physically what made sense until a certain point in the day. Until the conditions changed and you sat down.
It's not about fairness. We want to go along with each other. If lack trust, we compensate by control, fairness, rules.
- We don't have shared reality. without sufficient baseline shared holding with your partner.
- I see him overstretching and reacting in volatile ways. He's not sensing into his capacity limit. I don't trust that he sense into my capacity limit.
- You will compensate. You don't have to. If there's going to be movement, it's coming from you.
- Instead of asking, "are you willing to do dishes"? He always says yes any way. You ask him, "on a scale of 1-10, how much effort will it take for you to do dishes?". Don't ask about willingness, only capacity.
If you were to do dishes, how much will that disrupt what you want to do? Compared to a time when you had a song and dance in your heart about doing dishes, where are you now, if that
- Another time when there is sufficient ease & flow: how he wants to deal with this dynamic - NOT when you have a specific request. Do you recognize we have this problem? Let me tell you what it's like for me. What are your ideas about what we can do about it.
I have expectations that I'm stretching so you should be trying.
--- I have expectations that both sides have to stretch, and I try to bring that to the table.
We put labels on everything.
It's extremely tiring to choreograph.
@I'm asked to have a PLAN. But I never KNOW. -- What do we have the capacity for today?
There might be other things. Keep emotional topics to what is within the menu. I'm very concerned about us opening this topic. Give me headlines & I'll come back to it.
We can constrain
Go for the jugular first.
We're born with some distribution of inborn capacity to choreograph needs.
Loss of trust: minimize alive engagement with needs, changing conditions, etc.
Asking her = forcing her to notice whether or not she's caring. That's RUDE because we're not supposed to expose people to the reality of our needs, so that their comfort can be maintained. We came up with first comes first serves .
Needs dance is spontaneous. Needs choreography - exacting - I care for yours and mine. You may not care for both.
Annika
- Group has shared identity & trust
- Interdependent field: it gives me energy to give more. In order to create a field of interdependence, we need to have some agreements about baseline capacity.
- In order to be able to function in this way, a person needs to have enough privilege to not be crushed just by surviving. Not enough privilege to be addicted to goodies of system.
Martha: Is it concerning physical needs, related to freedom/ connection/ meaning?
Muzammal:
- Orient to the leader's needs, frame it in that way
- Meet resistance with tenderness and not defensiveness --> Lean on spiritual strength, but not that alone, find a group.
- WhatsApp Group on a topic: You share your celebration/ mourning.
Think of a situation or a context in which you do or don't have ease in having this conscious distribution of stretching. Is there anything that you can think of to increase your capacity to do that.
- Others are working as hard as he is.
- Trusting that others care about the common work and about him.
- Feeling overly responsible --> a real pattern. I want to talk to you.
- I myself has a lot fears. What if the person doesn't care? I have physical recoiling when they say "your questions don't serve me".
@This framing of money: I'm scared. Even with doctors asking for a "large" sum. I feel cheated. I don't know what goes into this decision. I cannot change this decision. We had to make it under pressure. Imagined being power-down, feeling angry, scared that I won't have enough, in tension with family members. I wish I had an agreement and trust that she cared enough for me.
What can we about this?
Some empathy for myself - needs. More open.
Yup here we go again. There it is. I'm okay.
Please don't feel pressured to share until you're ready.
What can happen when there's just complete surrender, compassion, acceptance. It felt like stretching for me to pause and give compassion.
I said it or did it or thought it, it's okay.
This tracking and sensing.
I've seen resistance to having this conversation.
Curious about putting Connection as an agenda item. Difficulty.
Jul 5 - Arnina - I release myself from the vow
What is the deepest name of the cement (Structure - brain, family, society + Belief + Vows)
How I can liberate myself from it & find new ways
- What is still causing me to repeat patterns that don't serve me?- without judging me
Compassion in human is like water. Give it enough time, it will melt everything.
- constant, eternal
Patriarchy: only the use of power on sth will change sth (power includes judgment, hidden shoulds)
When I try to change sth in myself
- Father criticized me daily. I inhaled even before I was born.
- We will judge until we die. How to look at judgment in a way to discover my essence?
We have free will as an essence of being human. What we don't have is free access to the free will due to the cement.
When I realized I'm not fucked up, I expand
Needs are the Temple of the Soul within our body
Arnina - almost 75, living with severe pain & insomnia. No minute in my life since a baby without pain. Depression around my wrongness. No quietness around sexual areas. Tried hundreds of therapy and nothing helped.
2 families of needs
1. Security (trust, belonging, being seen, space to be myself fully) - not safety
2. Freedom (living my truth, self-expression, full presence in the world, creativity)
Father summoned me up every 2 months and said: What you did ruined everything. He dictated in a paper what I should do and I sign, e.g. "Laugh less." Yet Arnina means "make you happy".
I agree to sacrifice my body to the whole system he was asking me to live by, in the name of keeping my spirit free. --> reunite my spirit & body for myself not against him
Whatever happened with me, my essence is as pure as it was.
Finally treat myself
I don't believe in forgiving since forgiving implies something wrong was done.
Breathing = Presence = Can do sth new.
I'm here. I have me.
The need for love - the glue. How to liberate myself from this?
Stepping out of isolation into a community that deeply thinks & feels. Crossing fears. I don't want us to live in fear so I take the risk of being judged.
Every time I reach out, I receive.
Humility: I cannot avoid wounding my children. I came from history. Revisit those places with myself & them. No guilt.
What would be the impact on him if you shared?
- He cannot give her what she needs and that opens her heart to him.
- The more I struggle against it, the more I suffer.
- Mourning with another person, reconnect with the longing for something that was never there and will never be.
I have so many should:
- A leader should rebalance the field
----I have judgment that she's all over the place, no place for me to come in. Judging myself that I'm too slow, too weak, forcing me to raise hand. I have to be visibly active to get the most out of this.
- I'm so blocked to my feelings & needs --> I didn't receive it as a child, so I cannot give it to myself now. I leaned on her, and she caressed my hair for 40 mins. Being with.
- Being meek and not apologize. I can't do it.
- When I receive money from you for a service that I perform, I'm implicitly agreeing to not be myself. I sacrifice my authenticity in the name of keeping peace?
- I vow to never be seen as hurting or oppress others, no matter the cost to myself. at the cost of my authenticity. That if I sacrifice myself somehow I'll be taken care of, I'll get scraps of love.
I can think of myself as a good person, who brings harmony, who don't rock the boat. Even when I received no praise. I grew up around people who encourages me to sacrifice.
- I've created for myself a group where we extol sacrifice, and distance myself from the "selfish" folks.
Let's not look at the cost on myself. --> become more sensitive to the cost on myself
- to a certain age I think it was unfair
- it became so natural to myself and others
It's so painful that my mom was forced to be good so others can be comfortable
Don't create problems
The sacrifice is not seen and appreciated, you don't belong anyway. If you don't give it by freewill, by law you will need to.
I release myself ...
I give myself blessing to find something else ...
- I judge myself as being meek, not active. I beat myself up because I want to live up to expectation. I want to be free. I want to be seen. What's am I discovering?
- I judge myself of being
- Entitled
Do I want to pay the price all the time? Eat cheaper, wear cheaper, travel cheaper
I release myself from the vow that I have to be a good person, no matter the cost to myself, to get some scraps of love. I give myself the blessing to treat myself in the same way that I treat the honored guests in my life and look for love in healthy people and God.
fear, anger, guilt, shame
Guilt: I had impact, now I do something about it.
But got twisted into performing regret and wanting another person to say I am okay.
Blind, forgetting, confused, didn't have access to my resources. Clean that up for me.
Then we go to the other person for acknowledgement & empathy.
When they're ready, you share your piece.
God - give me the love that I cannot give to myself.
God, free me from the desire for approval, love & appreciation. --> Finding courage, compassion and care for impact of my action.
Yes dear I wasn't there for you. Another wounded human oh my god.
If I show up with care and humble authenticity, not explaining, it helps them.
When I was a baby, I needed it this way, no way else. There's a sense of death if not received that strategy. When I grow up, there will be pain but I'll not die.
Aug 2 - Express with care
Not about market value. We are short of money, and we're crazily committed. Who knows what will happen this time - maybe nothing, maybe two hundred thousands. What is within your capacity?
@I'm scared of giving money. What about my family? I can give, but is this the top priority? The amount is crazy, not attached to anything. I'm so scared of not caring for my family. I haven't even calculated the numbers.
@Money is attached to meaning. "Such a small amount and Dave creates so much difficulty and Mai has to handle expectations. Mai is shamed - nhuc nha, e che, we said something and do another." "All Mai cares about is prestige, face."
- A was protective in relation to whatever is coming for A. That has impact on Miki. No one around talked to Miki or A. People don't interfere/ get engaged in others' conflict. Stay in bubble of survival mode, not noticing. @ I get into this when it's about Kathleen exiting. I'm too tired.
- If A is doing something that has impact for M, and I say things to A, I'll be enemy to A. First they came for the communists, but I wasn't a communist, so I didn't say anything. Then they came for the gypsies, but I wasn't a gypsy, so I didn't say anything. Then they came for the Jews, but I wasn't a Jew, so I didn't say anything. And by the time they came for me there was no one left to say anything.
Leadership: Noticing. Making it mine. Taking action.
@ Busy-body. Not solve your own (family's) issues yet and still want to care about public things. I'm bound in loyalty to my family, financially. I could step up in certain spaces when I'm the mediator/ facilitator.
@ I freeze when Khuyen & Trang are in conflict. I feel checked out. I feel like they're going down a spiral. I don't want to get caught in content.
@ I understand Dave a lot, and might that be joining hands with the privileged? Why do I cut into Mai? To prioritize Dave's comfort?
@I've created a space around me of people who care a lot.
@ I also stayed in my bubble because I was dealing with addiction.
@People who check out: Sy - feel so emotional. She's giving up. Nothing we do can change. I accompany you.
@ I feel ashamed to even give money to people on the street. To look into the eyes of vendors. I feel afraid that others will judge me to be too soft, that I'm posing an image of being kind, that I'm not putting the family first. I would like to start giving more to street vendors on my own, so that when it happens in front of others, I can move easily.
You hear yourself saying words which will increase the chance that in the future you will say them. Experience the discomfort: of being rejected,
Courage we develop to become agents for life
@I resent seeing Y - I see the worst of myself - soft, dorky, weak, childish, naive, ungrounded in reality, easy to be ridiculed, big-headed, ugly, sleepy-eyed, socially awkward. I want to distance myself from her.
@I didn't say anything when Sy said "ethnic people are lazy". They so believe it's true. I feel scared that we put people in boxes, that it will separate us. I'm afraid I'll be seen as an oppressor. I want to be seen as good. Why do you say these things? Is it because it's easier? It's practical for you to move through things. I want to see these farmers as individuals not as labels. I'm guessing you've gone through your self-made journey and tried to bring them along and got no result.
tried a lot to pull them along on your self-made journey and got little results, is that the case?
We blame/ judge because there is a mourning they don't want to go to. They've put in so much efforts and they're not received, no change. They want to pull people up, they've gone through the self-made journey, and they could show the way, but they were futile. Their efforts went down the drain.
Protect.
Rebalancing act.
Explore moments in which you did/ didn't speak up. What are the results? What you learnt from it? What might you want to do differently?
Someone who feels strong inside will not need to prove I'm strong to anyone. --> Don't confront in public.
It's a thing for woman to stand up to a man. A lot of men don't take it well.
Where have you engaged with this phenomenon (speaking up when we see something)? What have you learnt individually?
Move closer to the pain.
"That could have hurt."
What do I have to do within me to move into that orientation? Simultaneously, is it possible for me to increase my compassion and understanding for the people who don't notice, who don't speak up, who don't take risks, who don't take responsibility, so I can connect more fully, and possibly create change in how others around me orient?
How do I say something in a way that cares for both parties? If you say "they are acting out, complaining" you've lost their humanity. Call attention to the moment not to the person. Please slow down, I sense that this is sensitive/ delicate topic for both of you. I'd like to see if we can have this conversation in a way that cares for everyone's dignity.
A move from inaction and paralysis to taking action. And there's a move from taking action that is within the conflict that we're witnessing to taking action that is about the conflict.
The Unshaming Way - David Bedrick
"There is a possibility of danger." --> An assessment, not the truth
"I am scared." --> A truth
I took a step back to a distance that felt safe for me, and spoke to the car. I see what's happening to you and. I don't like it.
Aug 30 - Express with care
Marjan: Iranians don't mean what we say, withhold our resources
=Before you go on just please look at me for a moment. Just connect. It's for me a miracle that this is happening.
Not everything we dream about is possible. But if we dream it some become possible.
=It's a requirement to cry. You've seen others crying. What's so special about you that you cannot cry?
It's not given to us whether we succeed/ fail. What's given is what we choose to do when we fail: collapse or become curious
- Shit! Damn it! I failed! I will try again! --> probably fail again
- Oh! What happened?
Overestimate strengths/ Underestimate limitations (esp. if we haven't done enough crying, because the dream we want to achieve is so important to us that we can't bear the thought that some stupid ass limitation that we have will prevent us from doing it)
Overestimate openings/ Underestimate obstacles
Smaller application/ take smaller steps matching your current capacity
It's okay for you to not try something out there, just participate in here, co-hold something here.
=I think you want to hear yourself say it.
=Don't compose yourself. I'm waiting for the waves of emotions to complete its motions. Don't contain it. Please let it flow.
=you are not letting yourself breathe all the way. You're not making contact with life. You can't make contact with life being nice girl.
Well-behaved women don't make history.
=I don't say "it's okay about ...". I won't give you (dis)approval. I'm just going to tell you my opinion. Every fiber of me
For you to do more than what you can do: will demoralize/ sap ur energy/ not give you the space to grow at your pace
Is there anyone where it's part of what's yours to do to support Marjan to be the most powerful woman she can become
Will you make yourself available to be supported
This is something that people don't do enough is mobilize energy to call us around something in the moment, where the need is clear.
Dispersal energy: we disperse, energy dissipate.
When you were born, you knew what you want and just go for it, while taking attention of what everybody else wants in learning together. That's what we're made for. And most of us get clipped, you were clipped. That's why you have a struggle.
VM/ vision creation: What is it we do here? Why does it matter? Maybe you'll discover that the purpose lives in you.
Why did you say yes to in coming to this group? What do you like to see happen in groups that you have been in? What's something that you never want to see again? And if it happens, you will jump right out the door?
If you convene a group, auto you'll be leader. Grab "leadership role" and people look to you for approval. Drop the role and deny all.
purpose coaleses energy
Group-forming
@CNVC - headache: I think it's micromanaged. Every penny.
We are saving every penny.
@What can we do if people request a lot. We say no with care.
@I received support. I could cry. I'm very far away from where I was
I could embrace my limitations a bit more. I tell people before a meeting what I'm weak at, and asked the group to help me.
I won't give you (dis)approval.
I know better what's mine to do. To bring my truth. Appreciation. Frustration.
People are not quitting the program. I say the truth and I'm encouraging everyone to say the truth.
@Money: I could relax a little around money. Not count every penny. Trust that I'm investing in others' growth, not a fair exchange. I can accept money I feel I don't "deserve". I could share my worries AND pay more money to people around me.
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